I would dry all of the rivers
Dearest Lughaidh
Dezember 12, 1758
Frederick, Maryland
My sweet Lughaidh,
I am broken without you. I would give anything to nurse you again. I miss the soft sound of your cry. I miss the way the fuzz of your hair felt against my cheek. I miss the beautiful shine of your eyes when you smiled. Why did you get sick, Lughaidh? I pray to God every night for an answer, but He has given none.
Your dadi says some of the men at the fort were sick too and he worries he is to blame for your death. Your dadi is a good and kind man but now he is so sad and angry. I do not want to think about it too much Lughaidh, but I cannot sleep. I do not know what to do now.
Your dadi wants to put away the cradle. I do not think he can bear to see it. I do not think I can bear to put it away. Perhaps I should. In the mornings when I see your cradle, for a moment I think you are still there. My vögelchen, why did you fly away from me? You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Perhaps this is why God called you home.
My friend Rachael tells me that someday I will carry another child. I cannot bear to think about that, Lughaidh. I would rather have you back in my arms. I would dry all of the rivers, even my beloved Gera, if it meant we could have you back here with us. Dearest Lughaidh, where are you? You left your poor mami and dadi behind. I hope you see the river where you are. I hope one day to see you again. I will love you for all my life.
-Your darling mami.
About the entry…
Although I made reference to an illness spreading through the area, I did not mention the specific illness. There were several epidemics of yellow fever throughout the colonial population and the death toll was frequently in the thousands. While my history instructor enjoyed the depth of character I had begun to cultivate here, he asked me to get more specific on historical content for future components of the story. A few more entries before you meet our main character.
😭