Hard to Keep my Faith
I still do not understand
13 März 1763
Frederick, Maryland
Dear Mami,
I am writing to tell you that I am again with child. This time feels different, but I do not know why. I am much more tired than I was with little Lughaidh or with the babe I lost last year. Your son-in-law Lughaidh is in Newark visiting his brother Carthal. Carthal was injured in a battle in Newark harbour. I miss my husband, and I miss my son. It seems like I will always be missing someone named Lughaidh.
Rachael has been here to help keep me company, and Mr. Rhodes has checked in on me often. It was very kind of Mr. Rhodes to allow Lughaidh to go to Newark to take care of Carthal. I would like to go and visit the rivers nearby, but I am too scared to leave the house on my own. I pray to God that this child will live a long and healthy life, but Mami I find it hard to keep my faith. A lot of the people who live in the colonies do not seem to have any faith either. I still do not understand why He took my precious Lughaidh. Nor do I understand why He took the child from inside of me. Please pray to God and the saints for me and for this child I carry now. I do not know when my husband will return, and I do not think I can face another loss on my own.
Please tell my Dadi that I am okay. I do not want him to worry or hold anger.
I will write again when the child has arrived. Please visit the Gera and think of me and my children.
Deine Tochter,
Ermelinde.
About the entry…
At the end of the 1600s, only about 7% of adults in states like Maryland identified as a member of a church. Lindy and her husband both identify as Catholic. Catholicism especially wasn’t outwardly practiced in colonial America for a number of reasons. It was not until the Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776 that Catholicism began to grow again in the United States. If you enjoy religious history, you might enjoy researching this a little more. Lindy is having a crisis of a faith that she can’t outwardly practice. She is alone, and she is scared.
